Before I Die.....

Things I want to do before I die:

Tame a wild horse in front of an attractive girl.

Swing on a vine in the jungle with a knife in my mouth.

Run for miles from one African village to another to fetch water during a drought in an emergency while wearing a loincloth.

Make a briefcase exchange in the middle of a busy intersection.

Get in a car chase while holding a nine-millimeter.

Skydive with a knife in my mouth to catch up to another guy skydiving, and cut his parachute.

Be holding onto a cliff with one hand and have a girl dangling off in the other, and with one curl up, pull her up and onto the cliff to safety.

Have an earpiece with the dangling phone cord attached to it going into my jacket, place one finger on the earpiece as though I am receiving a message, and then tackle a guy.

Make the winning hockey goal, basketball shot, baseball hit, soccer goal with my head, and football touchdown with time running out, all in one day.

Play a song on the piano that makes all the women in the room cry, even the other men’s wives.

Learn a language on the way to a location where I am going to be expected to translate.

Give someone’s watch, wallet, and underwear back to them after I school them in basketball.

Spank a professor after a class and then proceed to tell them, “Well done.”

Ask someone if they like the Lamborghini that they are looking at and when they say yes, hand them the keys, and then proceed to tell them, “Have it, I have plenty of them.”